The Bridesmaids by Eimear Lynch

Author:Eimear Lynch
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Picador

—K, 28

THE NUN

IF YOU REALLY WANTED TO STRETCH the paradigm, you could say that all sisters have been bridesmaids. As I understand it, a bridesmaid is someone who supports her friend during a major moment. Sisters do the same thing with other sisters as they make vows. In both a wedding ceremony and a sister’s vow ceremony, you are participating in this very hopeful thing, and the shared hope is that you can live up to what you are promising to do. You see the promise of a future that is better than it would be without a commitment to this other person. In our case, that other person is God.

The difference, however, is that a group of sisters makes their vows together—five or six of us might make a commitment to God at the same time. So, if you stretch the paradigm again, then the bridesmaids are also the brides. There are other differences too: My understanding is that a bridesmaid’s job is to fix the train, make sure everyone arrives on time, and listen to way too many complaints. Although our ceremony is lovely—and we do get very excited about it—we are all just there to support one another and to contemplate the significance of the step we are about to take; there’s less planning involved, and there are definitely fewer complaints.

I took my first vows in 1978, when I was twenty-one, with four other sisters. It seems silly to say, but I was both excited and nervous. Like any commitment, it was a leap in the dark. The five of us started planning our ceremony six months in advance. We had to pick the readings and the songs, and other elements of the mass. Like brides, we were thinking about the future: “Is this really the right thing? Is this a good fit?” It was helpful that I wasn’t doing this alone, and I was lucky that the other sisters and I had a similar mind-set about what we wanted from our ceremony. There is this one song that makes my teeth hurt—it’s hokey, and the melody is so trite that it reminds me of a circus tune—and everyone was fine with taking it off the table.

I have special connections with the “bridesmaids” whom I made my first vows with. We went through experiences that were deliberately formative, and we shared the challenges of going through all these new things. There will always be something special there.

We make our vows at the same point in a mass when a couple would exchange theirs. Then we leave the chapel, trade our white veils for black ones, and receive crucifixes. When we reappear before the laity, the difference in veil color isn’t incredibly dramatic, but it’s still a big difference. I’ve heard people gasp when they see it. It’s a symbol of something—it brings faith into awareness.

For us, it’s never love at first sight, never a quick romance and a Vegas wedding. Sisters take their first vows after a

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.